There has never been a great guitar solo in which the artist didn't care about what he was doing. Instead that great guitar solo was, in essence, their life. It was the expression of emotion in which words would not suffice. It was the story from their childhood which was too hard to tell. It was the bad break up in college which they never let go. It was the celebration of their life. The guitarist, in that moment, was pouring his life - his heart - into that solo. Note by note and string by string, he was telling us a story, his story.
My freshman year is when I began to really pursue my faith and question what it was all about. I was asking questions. Not with the intent to disprove anything, but to understand it better. As I was asking these questions a lot of people I looked up to, as far as my Faith was concerned, encouraged me to start a journal. I was very reluctant. Still am.
(So why am I writing a blog? I don't know either...maybe we'll figure that out down the road somewhere).
Well, I looked up to these people and their opinions. I saw the good it did in their lives to process what it was they were feeling so I was totally on board. I was going to start a journal. Well, I got about three church services and maybe 5 pages of writing into it and I just didn't feel any kind of growth. I didn't feel like I was connecting with God on the level that those around me were. I knew He was there, but His voice wasn't exactly present. About this time is when I really started to pick up the guitar and little did I know what it would do for me...
It was one Sunday at church where I was talking with our worship leader, Todd, where it kind of hit me...we all talk to God in different ways. Some people journal, some pray, some sing, and some play music. Todd Ballard was a very influential person in my walk with God. I wouldn't be where I am today in my walk with God if it weren't for Todd. I will always be thankful for his wisdom and faith. The first Sunday I went to Red Rocks Church he was playing worship and there was this stage presence about the whole thing that was unfamiliar to me. It didn't seem like there were rules. The band played songs I was familiar with but there was more of a sense of freedom associated with them then there ever had been in my mind. I can't tell you who preached that day, I can't tell you what the message was about, but I can tell you that it was the most amazing Sunday at a church I had ever experienced. It was the first time I truly felt God...and that was because of the music. It was the reason I kept going back, at first.
While some people may journal, I play music. If I want to talk with God, I pick up a guitar. I can remember the first night I ever played on a stage in front of people. It was at a FUEL meeting (the young adults ministry at my church). There were about 250 people there and I was absolutely scared out of my mind. I was so nervous I screwed up the first song pretty bad and missed a couple of parts. After that opening song I went and sat in the audience and listened to the message. The pastor was talking about how we don't need to be nervous about our lives (whether that be our future, our relationships, etc...), mind you, while she was talking, I was quite literally shaking in my chair because I was so nervous. I prayed to God during the message and just asked Him to be with me. I asked him to speak through my music and glorify him through the guitar and the worship. Well, about 5 minutes before the message was over the pastor called the band on stage and I prayed one last time to just let me wholly worship Him through my music. Well, what followed was amazing. The click track started and we started playing our first song of the set, From the Inside out.
It was one Sunday at church where I was talking with our worship leader, Todd, where it kind of hit me...we all talk to God in different ways. Some people journal, some pray, some sing, and some play music. Todd Ballard was a very influential person in my walk with God. I wouldn't be where I am today in my walk with God if it weren't for Todd. I will always be thankful for his wisdom and faith. The first Sunday I went to Red Rocks Church he was playing worship and there was this stage presence about the whole thing that was unfamiliar to me. It didn't seem like there were rules. The band played songs I was familiar with but there was more of a sense of freedom associated with them then there ever had been in my mind. I can't tell you who preached that day, I can't tell you what the message was about, but I can tell you that it was the most amazing Sunday at a church I had ever experienced. It was the first time I truly felt God...and that was because of the music. It was the reason I kept going back, at first.
While some people may journal, I play music. If I want to talk with God, I pick up a guitar. I can remember the first night I ever played on a stage in front of people. It was at a FUEL meeting (the young adults ministry at my church). There were about 250 people there and I was absolutely scared out of my mind. I was so nervous I screwed up the first song pretty bad and missed a couple of parts. After that opening song I went and sat in the audience and listened to the message. The pastor was talking about how we don't need to be nervous about our lives (whether that be our future, our relationships, etc...), mind you, while she was talking, I was quite literally shaking in my chair because I was so nervous. I prayed to God during the message and just asked Him to be with me. I asked him to speak through my music and glorify him through the guitar and the worship. Well, about 5 minutes before the message was over the pastor called the band on stage and I prayed one last time to just let me wholly worship Him through my music. Well, what followed was amazing. The click track started and we started playing our first song of the set, From the Inside out.
In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
When we hit this verse in the song, I began to play so freely and without worry. I was so connected to God through the music. It was something I had never felt before. It felt exactly like what my mentors said journaling was supposed to feel like. It hit me...my conversations with God din't need to take place with a pen and paper. My conversations with God needed to take place on the fretboard of that beautiful instrument. Those strings, the pick-ups, the amp...the rawness of all of it. It was, without a doubt, what I needed to do in order to connect with God on the deepest level I could ever imagine. My most inner thoughts...the things I could never tell anyone...I could tell everyone through the notes of that guitar. My friend and role model, Todd, wrote a song that describes how I felt almost to a T...
We want to show our highest joy
We've come to celebrate with noise
In the language that the angels use
We offer up our praise to You
I have learned to speak a language that no one else knows, It is a language of my own. One in which I can talk with God and approach His throne. The beauty and the complexity of the sounds my guitar can make, a language no one can translate. I have learned to love my God so deeply and freely through the guitar that I can't ever imagine going back. When people ask me who my best friend is, I say my guitar. I then get a really funny look and they change the conversation because...you know...talking to someone who's best friend is a guitar is pretty strange. But what they don't get is that it's true. I talk with God through my guitar, so why wouldn't it be my best friend? Now THAT would be crazy...
Those six strings and that amp will always go where I go and I will forever be reminded that we all have our own ways to connect with God. Find yours, pursue it, and I guarantee you will feel a love that you have never felt before.
"Music expresses that which can not be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."
Keep it up, man.
ReplyDeleteKeep playing.
Keep walking after God.